Saturday, July 23, 2005
"All those things we used to worry about... love life, work, life's annoying moments in general... all of that doesn't matter, now that I'm meeting God."
We were having lunch in Glorietta this afternoon, and a friend was telling us about the last thing her best friend told her before she lost her 8-month battle with colon cancer.
That time, I was in workaholic mode. I came straight from the office, planning to just grab a quick bite with them and head back spend the rest of the long weekend in front of my computer, working overtime. I have two major projects running at the moment, and I have been scrambling just to keep up with a workload meant for 3 people.
I was also very cynical, due to a recent incident with (and realization about) someone I have known for years whom I used to think so highly of, but turned out to be just another pompous egomaniac who seems like he enjoys taking other people for a ride and doesn't give a damn if he ends up breaking them.
At that particular moment, what I heard made me evaluate everything I had in my life...
My family, though incomplete, is still the most important aspect of my life. With my dad gone, my mom abroad and my eldest sister settling down in the province, we all know that we have to work hard to keep in touch and have a harmonious relationship with each other. We have our share of fights ranging from the most shallow tampuhans to the most violent domestic quarrels, but we do manage to come out of the situation stronger and tighter as a family than ever.
I have great friends, whom I know will give me the shirts off their back when I need them. I have met a horde of people through the years, but it is nice to sift through all the superficial relationships I have made and know that when crunch time comes, there will be people who will not think twice about being there through it all.
I have chosen to look beyond the conventional faith I have grown up with, and have learned to dig deeper into what I believe in. I am still in the process of figuring out where my soul will find its home, and I know that when I am ready, I will be able to completely surrender to my faith. What keeps me grounded is the knowledge that I have been pointed to the right direction.
I don't completely discount all the other stuff though. I do admit that I enjoy having a healthy social life, and that my bi-monthly spa sessions are a staple. My career is still very important to me, and I will never stop being ambitious and taking risks. I just now have a clearer understanding of what defines me, and the rest is just frosting. Maybe my life will not forever change because of that story told over lunch, but it will sure help in putting things in perspective the next time a cab driver tries to overcharge me, my supplier doesn't meet his deadline, or my love life doesn't work out yet again. It isn't so bad, as long as the really important stuff is still there.
I called my officemates who were working like lunatics on a sunny Saturday afternoon and told them that I would not be going back to the office that day. I wanted to push work out of my mind for once and just enjoy the rest of the afternoon with my sisters and my nephew. Yes, I would be paying for that spur of the moment decision by sacrificing my holiday Monday, but what the hell. I will still earn my paycheck, and I will not lose my job. One look at Pablo, my two-year-old nephew, wide-eyed, excited and in heaven inside a toy store is worth it all.
Monday, July 04, 2005
I have always been well-endowed... at least since I noticed that puberty was creeping into my system. I used to go through utter humiliation everytime my classmates would tease me about having to wear a bra when most them could make to with sandos or trainer bras. They would taunt me about not being able to jump up and down, and how everytime we were distributed one-size-fits-all t-shirts, mine would be just a little too snug in the chest area. I hated being well-endowed... at least in High School.
Let's just say I began embracing my womanhood in college. Yes, my closest friends would still tease me about it, but having gotten my higher education in a very liberal university where it was normal to not be normal, nobody really cared if my cupsize wasn't that of a typical Asian woman. "Hey, some women (and occassionally, some men) pay big bucks to have what I have. Maybe it isn't such a bad thing after all," I thought. "Thank god for my lola's genes." And so there it goes, I began to appreciate my being "gifted."
At present though, I feel like my honeymoon period with them is slowly wearing out. I am beginning to go back to my first opinion that this is more a curse than a gift. I have come up with a few reasons why...
1. Buying bras in the Philippines is next to impossible. I have to have them sent from abroad.
2. Getting massages can be rather painful as I have to lie on my stomach.
3. Watching a pregnant woman's chest balloon from a cup A to a C makes me want to think twice about getting pregnant myself.
4. Button-down shirts are unwearble without a safety pin.
5. PMS brings twice (or sometimes even thrice) the pain.
6. Certain tops which may look perfectly innocent on any other girl are in danger of looking downright skanky on us.
7. Without the right precautions, active sports can be a very painful experience.
8. Because of their weight, most of us well-endowed women develop lower-back pains.
9. For the same reason, the thought of what they might look like thirty years down the road is downright scary.
Indeed, being well-endowed is a curse in disguise.
About the Author
I have quit trying to figure out the inner workings of God's mind. I have learned to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Piazza
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